If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
