Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
