White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
