u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
