Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
