One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
