the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
