I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
