Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
how drunk are you?
Several
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
