wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
