M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
do herpes really smell.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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