ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
