R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
