thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
