would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
