I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
