you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
