The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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