People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
