my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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