You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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