First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
