I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
