I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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