I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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