I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
