we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
