Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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