We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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