Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Your penis caused this!
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