do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
