So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
