Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
