I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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