if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
