i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
