I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
