I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
