i think my mom watched the whole time
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
