she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
