she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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