i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
