Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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