Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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