We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
