i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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