I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
