If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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