apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
