i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
